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    I thought I'd share my story. (This is LONG)

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    HeidiRae

    Posts : 59
    Join date : 2009-02-24
    Age : 30

    I thought I'd share my story. (This is LONG)

    Post  HeidiRae on Wed Mar 11, 2009 6:05 pm

    I wanted to share my story with you. It's definitely a story of great victory as far as I'm concerned! I hope it can encourage some of you. Thanks for putting up with my long story! Laughing study



    Ever since I was three, my only goal in life was to be a Wife and a Mother. So, I didn’t think anything of it when at the age of 15 a young man asked if I would be interested in his courting me. I gave him the answer I had rehearsed for years “You have to ask my dad first” Of course, Dad said yes, and we “courted” for a little over a year. I knew this guy was the guy for me.

    At the age of 8, I made the decision that I wanted my first kiss to be with my husband, and, since so many things could happen between dating, engagement, and the wedding, (I’ve heard of the groom dying the night before the wedding day) I decided that my first kiss would be on my wedding day when the preacher said “you may now kiss the bride”

    We did hold hands after the first month or so, but that was all I allowed, and I am so glad that I stuck to that, because, even though we were talking about our wedding, and even had a date set (Three years down the road), and had told each other “I love you” more times than I can count; one day he said that we’d gone too fast, made too many promises, and we didn’t have a future together! Yikes! Man, was I ever upset! I’d given my heart to this guy, and he just crumpled it up and handed it back. It was very hard, I was more upset with myself than anything else, I had gone too fast in giving him my heart, and should have been more careful to guard it.

    Right after that my family changed churches, we started attending the church of one of my brother’s friends. It was a great church, the people were friendly, and the preacher was great! He was also unmarried. Over time, he and I became great friends, we would sit and talk after church for three hours sometimes. We talked about anything and everything, and just became very close. I had him take part in my High School graduation, and when my family decided to move, he came the day before we left to see us off, and say goodbye.

    This whole time, the other members of the church were giving me a very hard time about being such friends with him. I did kind of like him, but they said that I was flirting, and that I was trying to catch him, and various other things that eventually really hurt. It made me very self conscious when they were around, and I was talking to him, so it caused kind of a dual personality almost, I would be one person when it was just the two of us, and another when the others were around. This caused the poor guy loads of confusion.

    So, one day, I was back in town visiting for the weekend, and went to his church before heading back home after the evening service. The same family who had teased me so badly, invited us both over for dinner between services, and I was very careful to NOT sit by him (which would give them more ammunition) Unfortunately, it also really confused him. He called the next day to see how my trip back home went, and to ask basically what was going on. See, he liked me too, but was really unsure whether it was returned or not. So, he asked if I was interested in taking our friendship to the next level to see if it could go further. I gave him my answer (“Yes, but I’d like you to ask my dad first”) and he called my dad.

    Dad gave his blessing, and I found myself planning a lot of trips back. I would go just about one weekend a month, and in just a very short time, I knew this was the guy for me. We would talk on the phone every night, for at least an hour, and we would spend the weekend I would go out together. (I would stay with friends for the nights I was out there, and we would get together for the days) After just four months he asked me to marry him. This whole time we never touched - at all.

    So, now we were engaged, and I was not willing to wait more than 6 months for the wedding. There were 400 miles between us, and it was too much. So we set the date, then moved it up a week so we could have the pastor we wanted perform the wedding, and moved into the engagement period. The night he proposed was the first time we told each other “I love you” and he took my hand after putting the ring on my finger. We still spent an hour a night on the phone together, but now ended with “I love you” It meant so much more than the first time I heard it from someone outside of my family!

    Every time I would visit it got harder to go home again. I would spend the first half of the drive in tears because I was leaving my heart behind. But, we still kept out physical contact to occasionally holding hands, and I would rest my hand in the crook of his arm when he was driving.

    It was very difficult! There were times that I wanted to throw everything out the window and just kiss the guy! There was once when he was sitting on his couch watching me rearrange his books on his bookshelves, and he was talking about wanting to wrap his arms around me and bury his face in my hair. I ended up handing him “Robert’s Rules of Order in Plain English” saying, “I think you should read to me” That broke the spell, and we got past the moment.

    I think in some ways it was easier having all those miles between us, because most of the time it was impossible to get physical, but I will tell you that waiting certainly made it all so very worthwhile! Our first kiss was on our wedding day. That was my first kiss ever! Just like I had planned 11 years before! Then we were so free! It was amazing to be able to have him brush my hair (that was a very intimate thing to me) and have no boundaries, and because we waited, and came to each other virgins it was freeing. I can’t think of a better word, cause it was so nice to not have to worry! I didn’t have to worry about going too far, or about possibly contracting some wierd disease, or not being able to wait till the wedding for fear of going too far, or be shamed to look at my mom for fear she would see what I’d been doing written on my face. We spent every elevator ride during our honeymoon standing in the corner kissing. It was so much fun!

    If there was one thing that I could tell every young girl or young woman out there, it would be to wait, because it makes everything so much sweeter. I don’t have to worry about whether I’m better in bed than some other girlfriend he had, or if I’m a better kisser, or anything like that. And, I don’t have the hindrance of comparing him to my others. As far as I’m concerned, he’s the best, in everything, and I like it that way!

    Thanks for putting up with my rambling. I love to tell our story! I hope it can give encouragement to someone along the way. God Bless! Have a wonderful day!

    HeidiRae
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    Butterfly

    Posts : 59
    Join date : 2009-02-11

    Re: I thought I'd share my story. (This is LONG)

    Post  Butterfly on Wed Mar 11, 2009 7:12 pm

    Aww, Heidi that's wonderful Smile I love to hear the stories of the others who've already gotten married..it gives me hope! Smile
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    EnglishRose

    Posts : 69
    Join date : 2009-02-11

    Re: I thought I'd share my story. (This is LONG)

    Post  EnglishRose on Wed Mar 11, 2009 9:52 pm

    I love to read other people's love stories! Thanks for putting it up here, HeidiRae. Very Happy I can totally identify with what you said about not having to worry about being a better girlfriend/kisser/etc - that means a huge amount to me. I guess it's partly because I'm a little competitive. Rolling Eyes However, it's so nice to realise that neither of us have anyone else that could float into our heads at inappropriate moments.

    I hope to put something up here in a little while...

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